How Life Changes

Valais, Switzerland

Ten years ago, I took my first trip outside of the United States. It was a spring break trip to Italy arranged by the university. What perpetually stands out was how much I couldn't wait to be home by the end of it. It seems ironic, a week in Rome as a young woman in her early twenties. Shouldn't it be a dream?

To this day I'm not certain what caused me to feel that way. Maybe it was the uncertainty of leaving the country, maybe it was the fact I was young and just beginning to learn the facets of life. Maybe it was the fact I was simply going along with the trip? Doing as I thought I should, following the itinerary because what else was I to do? What I do know is that ten years ago, I was young, naive, and an entirely different person. Ten years ago, I didn't even know who I was. Now, ten years later, I made a drastic decision to move to Switzerland, and fully aware of who I am and what I want.

My thirties have felt like a second chance at redoing my twenties but armed with the proper knowledge and experience to get what I want and live how I dreamed.

This is a new beginning for me, the beginning I've struggled, suffered, and fought for vigorously. It's the beginning I deserve. As cliché as it is, if someone told me I'd be living in Europe a year or two ago, I don't know if I would have believed them. Not because I didn't have that sense of adventure in me to leap, but because changing your life in such an extreme way isn't easy. By that, I mean society has a way of making us believe we have to go by the itinerary. Once we're settled in a job or place, it's effortless to stay there unless we choose otherwise, unless we choose more and are willing to fight for it.

I chose more the moment I quit my job in 2019, but the process was slow. I took out my 401k and all of my savings to live on and travel. I did everything financial advisors tell you not to do. But I had to do something. I couldn't live the life I had, I couldn't work at a job that destroyed everything about me. I was tired of hoping something else would suddenly appear so I could escape. I chose to change.

After a year of travel, the pandemic hit and I had no idea what I would do. Then I made the decision to apply to graduate school in Switzerland. At this point in my life, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do something extraordinary. Our twenties are the learning phase, our thirties are the turning point- should we choose to accept the challenge.

The motivation behind writing this is because I don't want people to think I was lucky and had things fall into my lap. I know how it feels to work at a job that drains every ounce of happiness from your body to the point you're physically exhausted. I know how it feels to be in relationships that do the same. I also know how it feels to be stuck when you're giving every effort to break free. I have worked so hard since I've made the decision to leave my job and go in a completely different direction. It's been challenging, but it's been worth it. I'm still breaking free and working toward where I need to be, and while my life isn't perfect (yet), I can finally say "I'm doing really well" and actually mean it. To be clear, none of this is to brag or gloat about where I am or what I'm doing. I'm writing this so people understand, you get what you give. So to those who find themselves in a similar situation, I hope you have the courage to choose change and make the necessary effort.

Quarantine isn't so bad with this view